Every marriage has challenges. Whether it be financial issues, emotional problems, or external sources, there isn’t a single marriage that is without its flaws. When raising a child with special needs though, these challenges can feel heightened.
Having a child with special needs brings all the challenges of marriage, along with some that no one can even begin to expect. no one can deny it's easy to feel overwhelmed by some of the things that come along with raising a child like your own. It can feel like every bit of your free time needs to circle back to taking care of your child, and it may begin to feel like you don't have time for anyone else.
It isn’t hard for your marriage to slip through the cracks when there are so many extra factors involved in raising your child. With divorce rates of parents with special needs children skyrocketing to just over 80%, it may seem like you're doomed from the get-go. But that's not the case at all. Working with your partner to ensure both your needs are met and following the tips below to make your partner a priority can help you make your marriage work!
Learn to ask for help when you need it.
Everyone wants to feel self-sufficient, and no one wants to have to depend upon another person. But sometimes, asking for help truly is the best option.
It can be hard to swallow your pride and reach out. To admit that and your partner are overwhelmed or need a break can feel shameful, but that isn't the case. More than likely you and your spouse already have a support system made up of people who would be more than willing to step up to the plate. While some of them may not know exactly how to help, they can be taught. Reaching out to a friend, parent, or family member can make all the difference in the world for your mental state. Having an extra set of hands can give the opportunity for some much-needed alone time in your relationship! Or even just a slight break to mentally recover from the day-to-day stress that comes with being a parent.
Celebrate little milestones.
Having something to celebrate brings people together! Celebrating your child’s milestones is a great way to not only boost the morale of you and your spouse as a team but to excite your child for their own personal progress! It's a win, win in our books by all means.
Asking yourself “what ifs” and questioning what it would be like if your child progressed at an average rate is detrimental to your well-being, and to your outlook on parenting in general. Choosing to be excited and appreciative of the milestones that are being hit can help your whole outlook change. When approaching parenting from a different perspective, you and your partner can have something extra to smile about throughout the day. Which will help keep the mood light, and the outcome optimistic.
Figure out your team dynamic.
Teamwork makes the dream work. And when it comes to marriage with children there's no exception. Raising a child with special needs only emphasizes the need for you and your partner to be a solid team.
Having a strong team dynamic can make even the scariest of parenting trials seem easy. Knowing you and your spouse can rely on each other, act as a safe space for each other, and build each other up can make any marriage feel less scary. Especially one like yours.
The foundation for teamwork is respect and consideration. Giving your spouse the respect they need when it comes to making parenting decisions for your child is essential. While giving them the consideration that they may too need a break is crucial. Having a team dynamic based upon success, patience, understanding, and cooperation and help can make even the darkest days feel a little less dark.
Prioritize each other.
Every couple needs alone time, and you and your spouse are no different. Regardless of the superhuman capabilities, you may both have as parents, you're still a married couple. And marriage takes work. Blocking out time to be intimate with each other, or certain date nights during the month can ensure you won’t lose the spark you had when you first got married! Whether it be a dinner at home or a night out on the town, having a couple of hours to yourselves as a couple is a great way to ensure your relationship needs are being met.
Even if you may not have time or the money for date nights there are still ways to practice intimacy and prioritize your partner. Checking in throughout the day and simply asking what your partner needs are great and cost-effective ways to show they are still a priority. When your partner knows they are a priority, they know you care. And when they know you care the relationship should have the strength needed to withstand any parenting hurdle that could be thrown ways.
Conclusion.
What makes a marriage work is different for every couple. What works for one may not work for all. Working with your partner to build a routine that works for you is one of the most important things you can do when raising a special needs child together. Learning to ask for help, celebrating the little milestones, creating a team dynamic, and learning to prioritize each other are just some of the ways you can ensure a strong marriage while raising a child with special needs together.
If you need help coming up with a team dynamic that works for you and your spouse, or help understanding how to have a good relationship while raising a special needs child, worry no more, book a consultation call with me today to learn how to start enjoying your parenting journey today!
